Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Too Many Errors Mar Otherwise Great Read

The Enlightenment Protocols – Book 3 – Allies

Tales of the tribes of the Central
Metropolitan Regions as told to the
Sol-Earther Don C. Cieers by
Commoners of Draaken
Authorized for release by
G.W. Morgan, Commodore,
Commonwealth Combined Fleet
Copyright 2012 Don Ciers

In Book 2 of this series we learned that as a lesson to other tribes within the Nursery Crescent, the vicious Alliance of Stellar Republics planned to overtake their neighboring Poians. The message: “acquiesce to Pygan’s benevolence or face destruction and slavery.” Book 3 begins with all four home worlds of Poian reeling from the Alliance of Stellar Republic’s brutal onslaught on Istria.
“To break these enlightened and so-called technologically advanced Istrian monkeys will prove to the entire Nursery Crescent the superiority of Kuniean arms over all others,” said General Alexander of the 42nd Legionnaires.
The Alliance planned to recover the lost Poian and Maian worlds, as well as Vizio, Phoneia Lutrel and the Lissa planetary group. They would begin with a deadly assault on the Poians with both interstellar ships and troops on the ground.
To their advantage, an innovative doctor used various techniques to turn soldiers into automatons with no feelings, conscience or memories. Thus the Alliance had a strong force with only one goal – to follow orders to the letter and kill without compunction whenever necessary.
“Too many highly skilled Trinovanteans were being wasted on frightful assaults against prepared modern enlightened surface defenses. A stream of automatonized assault troops (using dispensable unenlightened peoples) will be necessary to grind up Commonwealth surface forces on each targeted world.”
Leader Mistress Indira-Vin and her daughters, Marta and Natasha liked the concept while Prince Advan and the Aglifhate Grand Chamberlains were “as intimidated as they were impressed…”
They could also launch their deadly Mighty Arrow, as in previous battles, via a Devastator rocket to destroy targets in both air and ground assaults.
Meanwhile, the Commonwealth of Stellar States had been busy suppressing slave trade across the region and most recently had freed many Poian Vizians.
“The boarding party liberated 5,400 souls and took 300 prisoners; the prisoners, 25 crew servants were determined to be recently purchased Poian-Vizian slaves. The Vizians were in a near-catatonic state and undergoing severe physiological stress. Medical examinations revealed they had undergone a neuro-surgical procedure to implant a control device in each individual’s cerebellum.”
However, the Commonwealth also kept a keen eye on Alliance activities and knew they needed to prepare for another war. They repaired and upgraded their stellar force and a plan was devised to place ground forces at strategic locations on Poian’s Mt. Dubour. Another unit would hunker down undercover in the surrounding forested area.
In this third work, the author displays good knowledge of asteroid and comet behavior, as well as stellar dust clouds, nebulae, trans-stellar currents, magnetic waves and ionic particle sensors. He shows intelligence and common sense with regard to the interstellar ships and their weaponry, as well as orders, commands and movement of troops on the planet’s surface.
All of this indicates that solid research was done beforehand to make this book believable.
The author’s writing style flows easily and he keeps the action going throughout, which can be a daunting task.
However, there are some serious problems with this work including run-on sentences and incomplete sentences, as well as spelling errors (or typos), the misuse of capitalization, commas, hyphens and more. There is also the problem of numerals beginning sentences and in a number of cases, a particular number will be written as numerals and then later as words.
All of those errors would have been caught through vigorous editing. Authors should realize the importance of this, despite any cost because it affects a reader’s ability to enjoy a book even if well written.

Note: After sending the author some notes with regard to the above errors, he has made an effort to fix the problems.  

The Enlightenment Protocols – Book 3 – Allies is now available at

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